- Say no to drugs, they just don't listen
- A friend in need is a pest indeed.
- Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
- Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
- When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
- The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.
- Born free, taxed to death.
- Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
- Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
- Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
- It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
- I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
- A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
- The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
- The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
- In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
- If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
- Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
- If you can't convince them, confuse them.
- It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers
- The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
- Someday is not a day of the week.
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